My father prevailed on me to go with him and his best friend, and the best friend’s teenage son, to church today for the Good Friday service. This is a matter of many hours, and I made numerous excuses not to go.
“El keneesa beteb2a zay el 3ataba fil a3yad!”
“Away bas leeha rawnak bardo.”
“Sa3tein leehom rawnak. Arba3 sa3at, la2.”
“Beyekhlas el rawnak ba3d sa3tein?”
“Aywa!”
So I put on a dress and heels and went. This, however, proved to be highly inappropriate garb for a Coptic church on Good Friday (we dress up more in the protestant churches), but I have never been on Good Friday before. In fact, I don’t think I’ve been to a single Coptic mass. My dad’s friend shoved me in through the women’s side and told me to meet them outside when they started saying the *insert Coptic word here*. I had no idea how I would be able to tell when this was taking place, but I obediently stood there in the back (all the seats had been taken possibly months before) trying to figure out what was going on and amusing myself during the portions of the service that were in Coptic by counting how many women had bad blonde dye jobs within sight (nine). There may have been more, but half of them had their hair covered with mantillas.
During the singing of one such 15-minute word, the liturgy came to a sudden halt and the priest cleared his throat and said, “Fee tifl hena ismo Philopateer. Lawsama7to mamto teegi takhdo (There’s a child here named Philopateer. Could his mother come and get him please).” I stifled a laugh. Who the hell calls her kid that name – but I figure there is nothing to be feared for a child who managed to make his way through so many people right onto the pulpit, and didn’t choke on the incense either.
After a while I figured the service was coming to a close as the Lord’s prayer was being said, and I managed to get outside, where my dad was not. Everyone under the age of 30, however, was. I called my dad, and it appeared that the service was going to extend for some more hours. I figured my spiritual growth was not going to reach its zenith standing for hours on high heels listening to a language I do not know. I also did not have a very high opinion on what I did hear and understand in Arabic. It seems to be that Christ himself should get a bit more mention in the service than he appeared to, compared with other much lesser beings. So I went home, and reconvened with the family and friends later on to eat taa3miya and foul nabet and pretend that we were fasting, although none of us are. We shouted a bit about politics, shook our heads over the sorry state of the country, and went home.
forsoothsayer
Unnecessary and not very diverting musings 
2 B || ! 2 B ®
April 7, 2007
kol sana we enty tayeba :)BTW in good Friday, there is no liturgy! just the holy week prayers or what we call “Pascha”.and regarding the 15 min word 🙂 it’s simple: and i suppose that the last refrain should be in Arabic not Coptic, and here you are in English :):Thine is the power, the glory, the blessings, and the majesty forever. Amen. O Emmanuel, our God and King.Thine is the power, the glory, the blessings, and the majesty forever. Amen. O my Lord Jesus Christ, my good Savior. The Lord is my strength and my praise, You became to me a sacred salvation.in Coptic(just in case you need it):”+ thok te ti gom nem bi ouh nem bi ezmouh nem be amhi sha eneh. amin. Emanoel benouti penoro.+ thok te ti gom nem bi ouh nem bi ezmouh nem bi emai shayneh amin bashoice essous biekhristos basotir en aghathos.+ thok te ti gom nem bi ouh nem bi ezmouh nem be amhi sha eneh. Amin. (Tagom nem biezmah bi ebchioce av shobe-niah en-soutiria efouaav). thok te ti gom nem bi ouh nem bi ezmouhnem be amhi sha eneh. Amin”for more info regarding the holy week ritual, check this out: http://www.scribd.com/doc/6751/A-Guide-to-the-Holy-Pascha
Forsoothsayer
April 7, 2007
it wasn’t the last…that’s why i left :)thanks, but i still see no point in worshipping in Coptic.
Seneferu
April 7, 2007
Happy easter. 2B, that’s impressive:)
Will E.
April 7, 2007
Yes there is a an on going debate as to worship in a foreign language or not, muslims in pakistan and Iran have to worship in Arabic even though they don’t understand it, Christians in Egypt worship in coptic and they understand only bits of it, I think elsewhere they read latin and not many understand that either.Some sounds have a sort of spiritual power anyway, like in buddhism and all that, so that might be a valid reason.I think the only remains of the old egyptian language is found in coptic churches after its abolition in Egypt. While worship may not make sense in coptic, some of it is beautiful and constitutes the only remains of a language that would otherwise be extinct.
Tsedek
April 7, 2007
When child in the Netherlands and accompanying my gran to church I was bored stiff not understanding the Latin throughout the service, now I live in Israel and am supposed to understand the Hebrew used in Synagogue and still don’t understand one word being that it is different than spoken hebrew…I have no patience for that, unfortunately.
Hano2a
April 7, 2007
ya sister, coptic language is the identity of the coptic church and it descends form ancient Egyptian language. Arabic was forced on Egyptians. There r hundreds of words that we use every done have origins in coptic language!
hebe
April 7, 2007
i’ve always wanted to go to a coptic church service just out of curiosity
Forsoothsayer
April 7, 2007
yeah it is my personal view that regardless of obvious statements like hano2a’s, people should worship in their own language…and so what if coptic dies out? language is fluid. anyway, i am not coptic and it doesn’t make a difference to me what they choose to do.
Carl
April 7, 2007
Actually . Coptic simply can’t die out , and it’s a real language u know and there are certain schools in Egypt that can teach it as a language .You don’t cancel a language from Liturgy just because u don’t understand it .and BTW , no one goes to church in heels and a dress even if it was a regular ceremony .
Egypeter
April 7, 2007
Ya know, I’ve been reading your blog posts over the years and I have a simple question for you forsoothsayer?If you hate the Christian and Coptic church so damn much what’s holding you back from converting to Islam?? Why not just convert? I often read your posts and I bite my tongue from commenting but this last post was just a bit too much, really.So you’re not Coptic, huh forsoothsayer? Then what the hell are you?? It’s funny you don’t consider yourself Coptic, do you consider yourself Arab before Coptic?? I mean, I’ve read your posts on how you refer to yourself as “Arab.” That utterly fascinates and saddens me. But oh well. It looks and sounds like you may have been ‘dhimmized’ forsoothsayer or at the very least ‘arabized’, either way, it’s a disaster!You rip on Christianity, brag about how you don’t fast, make fun of Coptic names, show your disdain for your ancestry…WTF??!!?!? Are you simply trying to appease your Muslim readership? Brownie points maybe?? lol. No doubt the Coptic Saints are rolling around in their graves if they hear what you’re saying.Whatever. Happy Easter to you anyways, I guess.
Forsoothsayer
April 7, 2007
man, i was waiting for someone to make a fool of himself like that. you never disappoint. i’m protestant, dickhead. that is my religion. as for culture, ethnicity, call it what you will, of course i am arab. it’s ludicrous to reject over a millenium of history.and i make fun of everything. i won’t bother making fun of you, though. you’re doing great on your own.
Forsoothsayer
April 7, 2007
carl,i just said, i don’t care what they do in coptic churches. it is not my faith. if people want to bring back coptic and speak, it, that’s great. but it isn’t convenient for worship right now. again, homma 7orreen.people go to church in dresses and heels during holy week at protestant churches, which are what i am familiar with, and on regular sundays too.
Safiya
April 7, 2007
Pah! I wish the haters would actually read your blog on a regular basis. Then they would already know that 1) you are Protestant, and 2) Not overly fond of Islam (although your analysis of sharia law was very fair minded) either or religious fundamentalism of any stripe.Most grannies I know wouldn’t be seen dead in church without a nice floral dress and court shoes.As for worship in another language, In Islam, only the actually fard prayer has to be in Arabic (which contains Quran reciting pluse words everyone knows the meaning of anyway. The lectures and du’aa can be in any language.See this is why your blog needs to go private. Then I will get email in my blog account other then spam!
Egypeter
April 7, 2007
Who exactly has made a fool of himself/herself?? It sure as hell ain’t me!And what does being ‘Protestant’ have ANYTING to do with being Coptic?? Absolutely NOTHING.And of course you’re ‘Arab’?? Oh yeah? Lol. Okay, no sweat off my back. Call yourself what you will. My point still stands.And I’d rather be a ‘dickhead’ than an ignorant bitch! With Christians like you who the hell needs the Ikhwan, lol.Safiya, there are ‘haters’ on this blog, but again, I sure as hell ain’t one of them! And it doesn’t matter wheter she’s Protestant, Catholic, Othodox, OR Sunni – Egyptians are not AND never will be “Arab.” Period.Philopateer is a beautiful name, btw. Maybe it would suit you better to name your children Mohammed, Hamed, or Ahmed.Happy Easter Forsooth.
Safiya
April 7, 2007
Egypter – So you’re not a hater, but you think it’s ok to go on someone’s blog and call her an “ignorant bitch”?!Is that what passes for charm in your neck of the woods? Being Arab is more then just a racial identity, as you can see by the vast variety of people who call themselves arabs, it is also a political and linguistic identity too.
Egypeter
April 7, 2007
Safiya – Is it ok for her to call me a “dickhead?” Does that pass for charm in Egypt? It doesn’t in Chicago.Being Coptic is just as much a “racial identity” as being Arab Safiya, as you can see by the 3500 years of Egyptian history prior to the Arabs CONQUERING Egypt.Happy Easter
Will E.
April 7, 2007
I’m sorry but I really must agree with egypeter, coptic doesn’t have to do with being protestant.There are coptic catholics, coptic orthodox, and so I think that being protestant is irrelative because coptic means egyptian, or original egyptian.In any case, we were egyptians for over 5000 years (I think) and arabized for the past 1000 years. So are we arabs? we’re trying to get there.. We were all speaking coptic till very recently. Oh and since languages aren’t so important why do you always insist on proper English ya forsooth? Language has its power and you know it.. but coptic has no meaning for you.. which is understandable..
Forsoothsayer
April 8, 2007
i think my “dickhead” point has been amply supported 🙂 i wish i had enough respect for your intellect to engage in meaningful debate on race and ethnicity and copticism, but i don’t. law mish 3agbak imshy, you two-penny ranter who’s never even seen egypt and has no idea what it is actually like. i do, however, have respect for will e. my protestant point was in response to “f you hate the Christian and Coptic church so damn much what’s holding you back from converting to Islam?? Why not just convert?”. i do know what coptic means; however, you know as well as i do that saying someone is a copt is usually an indicated that the person is coptic orthodox, not just a christian egyptian. and i’m not orthodox. you know my stance, actually.i do believe that as a christian egyptian, i am as arab as any other egyptian…and as unarab as any other egyptian. mere religious belief does not affect the culture my ancestors were part of.i do not think it importnt to maintain a language just for the sake of it not dying out; however, if you’re going to speak it, do it in the way that is best understood – that’s what i’m freaky about english. i do however concede that it is elitist of me to be that way. my point about facility of worship still stands. if people did start learning coptic in greater numbers, it would make sense.this conversation is now closed. my commitment to free speech regrettably does not extend to idiocy. perhaps in the next life.