Noggin Guests

November 25, 2014

1

Well I cried wolf and it happened: I have lice. No, for reals. And I don’t know how I got them, except I fall asleep in taxis with fabric seats a lot. Gross. My head has been itching for over a motherfucking MONTH. At first I thought it was my new shampoo, so I switched […]

Posted in: Uncategorized

Happy Ramadan

July 9, 2014

0

This cupcake shop opened in my neighbourhood and I ran down there all excited, lamenting only that my best friend the Singer no longer lives here to singlehandedly support them with her regular 11 pm platintive bleatings for cake. I assumed from the Ramadan bunting outside that date caramel and tamr hindy cupcakes were in […]

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E-licious

June 4, 2014

0

Yes I never wrote parts 2-11 of the trip to London. I overthought it. But I have been ruminating: what if my friend E – she who launched a thousand blog posts in the mid-2000s – is my true muse? Verily, it is so. I betook myself to her particularly beige part of Dokki. It takes […]

Posted in: friends, human waste, humour

London: Bamia and Allen Keys, Part I

April 1, 2014

2

  I just returned from an eight-day trip to London to visit friends and to not be in Egypt. It passed in the briefest of milliseconds, and here I am coated in exhaust again, obsessively tugging my top up and down in order to avoid attracting harassment, and reading about boundless streams of state murders. […]

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Moving and shaking

February 23, 2014

3

For the last ten months I have been living idyllically and surreally by turns in Maadi, a fragrantly leafy neighbourhood of Cairo characterized by large numbers of well-to-do foreigners, packs of noisy street dogs and teenagers, oil companies, and by having its behind snugly pressed up against the storied Tora prison. A green, safe area […]

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Street stains

December 9, 2013

0

For Sarah Carr, birthday girl, supportive friend and the biggest fan of this juvenile drivel. Yes, “no one has writer’s block for four years.” About six months ago I was walking on the street in Zamalek when a buxom, short-haired girl in her early twenties sitting on the sidewalk said to me in middle-class tones, […]

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Maple walnut et al

August 28, 2012

0

I bought three scented candles today, for the first time ever. (This is because my girly sister left a stockpile of various candles when she moved away and the power cuts depleted them. Then a friend of mine got married and I noticed his apartment started to smell very nice, which he kindly explained was […]

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