Posted on March 5, 2008


I take these vitamins, something extraordinarily potent called Vitamax. I took this stuff on the recommendation of all my girlfriends who I complained to about being tired lately. And I felt much better, right away. The drawback of these supplements is that my body hair has grown extraordinarily luxuriant. I have taken to stroking my leg as one would a friendly kitten. Just two days ago I got my eyebrows done – a process I despise without end and have to brace myself for – and this morning I noticed sprouting! I spent a good portion of this morning standing in sunny parts of my bedroom contorting myself hideously and waggling my features in order to reach rogue hairs. When I get to work I spend all the time before New Age Ned arrives dive bombing follicles with my Work Tweezers.

This is unsuitable. It’s spring now, and it’s time to attract a mate.

And in the world of hilarious correspondence I received an email from a listserv I am subscribed to vouchsafing this information:

So here’s what we’re thinking:

Saturday. Pyramids, posters, video camera, camels. EGYPT FOR BARACK!!!

What better way to add to the primary race than a video showing how expats and Egyptians alike break it down for the next President of the USA? (Inshallah!) This is more than youtube-worthy. This is showing serious support, Middle East-style, Egypt-style.

You. Pyramids. Video. Posters. Saturday. Email to join. Email if you have a video camera.

Yes, we can! !أيوة، إحن قادرينّ

ps- It’s going to be hot – not just because it’s going to hit 90 degrees. We’re just sayin…

pps- blankets

The Arabic is a bit off – the sure sign of an overconfident foreign student – and I do not know wherefore the shadda. Note also the use of degrees Fahrenheit. I sure do love Americans.

What would an American presidential race be without a hugely racist uncle tom-like video with camels in it? I hope they’re aware that while we reap the consequences of American elections very significantly, we are not entitled to vote, and thus might be disinclined to brown-nose on the internet. Anyway, let’s hear the bets on when the police or some other authority (note that the Antiquities police are also on camels) will come break this shebang up. Or even better, the other half of all the foreigners – the CIA operatives-in-training – will come with their McCain posters and there will be mighty roaring, sand flying and birkenstocks rent asunder. The desert shall witness history in the making – reddening skin slapping against baseball caps in the battle for who gets to send the military funding Egypt so sorely needs.