Jughead is a Pothead….it’s all crockery….

Posted on November 23, 2007

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Yesterday I was suddenly assailed with unshakable conviction that Jughead was surely a pothead. Yes, even fifties Jughead. The food, the half-closed eyes, the stupid hat, the lack of real interest in women, the absurdness…it’s all there. I came to this realization as I was opening the fridge.

I found this on the Archie comic website under the heading “NOTE TO PARENTS”:

We are guided by our “WFOP” principles. Those aren’t just any four letters. They stand for something very important to us:

  • W-Wholesome
  • F-Family
  • O-Oriented
  • P-Products
The characters shall; (a) not be depicted in explicit activities inappropriate for a youthful audience; (b) always be shown wearing seat belts when driving; (c) never be shown taking drugs; (d) never be shown smoking; (e) never be shown drinking alcoholic beverages; (f) never be shown nude; (g) never be shown engaging in violent or abusive behavior; (h) never be shown in knowingly engaging in illegal activities; and (i) never be shown engaging in any activity which is contradictory to the commitment of ACP to the use of the characters to promote good dental and personal hygiene.

My God. Well, I guess comics are not known for their reflection of reality, and there should be something wholesome out there to consider the ridiculous weight of fucked up shit kids are exposed to. That said, I can’t say I drew any positive influence from reading Archie as a kid. I always wondered how come no one ever got knocked up and why everyone’s parents were together.
I also looked at all the blurbs about the characters and found them so divorced from reality it made me sick (it said that Dilton chooses to hang out with his bunsen burners rather than Archie and the gang, for example) except for one thing: they have everyone’s weight on there and all the girls are really thin. The word sexy was also used once.

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Posted in: books, intoxicants