The perfect geezer…blatantly!

Posted on July 15, 2007


It has recently come to my attention that the chances of meeting someone of the opposite sex are rendered negligible after graduation. Looking around at the couples I know, most of them met at university, although one or two met at work. But if my workplace is any indication, this cannot be too fruitful a field, if only because of the fewer numbers of people and their wider range of ages compared to university. Once you’ve checked out your office, and met all your friends’ friends, what are you to do? It’s not exactly possible to meet people at bars here. One time at the Cairo Jazz Club a guy asked me out, but he had been introduced to me by an acquaintance so it wasn’t completely unaided. Other than this incident, I have not heard about people meeting (successfully) without an intermediary at a bar or party. Anyway, I do all right for myself, one way or another, but the same cannot be said for my male friends, all of whom are really excellent dudes. One of them was recently complaining to me about this paucity of opportunity, and since he has already met all my female friends (all five of them) the only way I could think of to ameliorate his plight was through this sketchiest of fora, my blog.

So: the gentleman in question really is fanciable. He is 26, Egyptian, but recently arrived in Egypt having spent his whole life in England. As a result, he has an accent that I find endlessly delightful, complete with its idioms and slang. His manner of speech is slowly creeping over the rest of us: many of us are ending sentences with “bro” “like” “ya git me?” or the more adventurous “innit?”. We are also referring to our mothers as “me mam”….but “dude” will never be phased out by “geezer”, as long as there is breath in my body! I myself feel that getting him to say “book”, which he pronounces “buke”, would alone make for a lifetime of entertainment. You can, actually, be entertained for a lifetime even without meeting him, as he does those “Learn English” tapes where they get an English person to repeat words over and over again. He is gainfully employed as a financial analyst, and he has a Masters in Economics. Looks-wise, he’s pretty good, at least for those of you who, like myself, find a full head of hair and muscles to be both rare and yummy. Medium height, good fashion sense, and an enthusiastic dancer and vacationer. O is ultra liberal, ultra enlightened, but not aggressive about it. Best of all, he genuinely likes women (or “birds”), as an entire gender. He actually claims to prefer our company, even when no nudity is forthcoming. That’s scarce, I think. You’ll agree that most guys out there don’t think of girls as friends on the same level as their guy friends, and if it wasn’t for heterosexuality probably wouldn’t talk to girls at all.

Anyway, judging from comments and blogs out there by girls bemoaning the difficulties of finding a decent Muslim guy, surely there is a frisson of interest? If there is, email me, I’ll arrange something. Something non-awkward. He doesn’t read this blog, by the way.

Posted in: friends