This post actually caused my ejection from his life…

Posted on March 14, 2007

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The Mouse and I went out for lunch to celebrate my birthday, and although he was amiable, several incidents reminded me of why we broke up (and why we won’t get back together):

Incident One

I was expounding enthusiastically about some point when the Mouse put down his ice cream spoon, picked up a clean spoon, and rapped me on the forehead with it, quite hard. He insisted that using a clean spoon was the height of courtesy. I stopped talking and gaped at him in disgust and astonishment while he laughed his guts out.

Incident Two

As stated before, I jiggle my leg all the time and this shakes tables and other people’s chairs. I was doing this while talking on the phone when suddenly the Mouse kicked me rather violently under the table. This was his delicate way of getting me to stop jiggling the table. I mouthed, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, you asshole?” and he had the gall to be insulted that I swore at him. I think being rudely kicked by a large man is grounds for at least that much.

Incident Three

We were eating termes (a variety of bean) and when the Mouse was done he wiped his hand on my suit pants. Suit! That I wear to work!

I believe I have made my case. I love Bart Simpson but he is not 28 years old.

July 17, 2008: I have just re-read this post, and I have to wonder what I got SO mad about. I think he was right not to understand why I flipped my shit at him over the incidents above.

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