Embarassing moments: Fall 2006

Posted on October 17, 2006


Of course, these are only two among many, but they sufficed to establish that brown-skinned people can blush. It’s not attractive.

A few weeks ago I was standing in the street trying to hail a taxi when a gust of wind blew by and blew my skirt right up, revealing my underwear to the world. At that exact moment a taxi finally pulled up, and I had to shout my destination to him while flailing madly to pin my skirt back down. It is to his credit that he managed to successfully not laugh…although he smiled a little to his left-hand mirror. I wanted to disappear into the filthy seat stuffing.

A few days later I was roaming around Zamalek with a fairly annoying, and kind of smelly, real estate agent looking at apartments for M. at one point he looked at me and asked him who I reminded him of. This kind of comment is unbelievably aggravating as people usually mean persons you have never met and cannot be expected to identify. They look at you and then say decisively, for example, “Nadia.” As if this person’s face, with accompanying name, is carved into a mountain somewhere close. And then you say, “ah,” and experience pain in the (metaphorical) testicular area. But this time, giving him the benefit of the doubt that he would NOT turn out to be bedan and mean a well-known person (although there was nothing to support this), I said, “Salma Hayek?”

“Salma Hayek?! Are you crazy? She is so much prettier than you. You’re not pretty at all in comparison to her! Salma Hayek! You must think a lot of yourself!” and so forth. I blushed a deep incarnadine shade and shut the fuck up.

A word in my defence here: people often tell me I look like Salma Hayek. I KNOW she is outstandingly hot and has never put a sartorial foot wrong and her figure is stupendous etc…but the fact remains that people tell me this all the time, and not just ignorant Whitey McPinks either. People who have seen lots of Arab chicks, Egyptian people, tell me I look like her all the time. Sober people. Girls. Married men sitting right beside their wives. People who don’t want to get into my pants tell me this, OK? OK. It wasn’t unreasonable or vain for me to think he meant Salma Hayek.

That twat.