16 Things I will miss about Canada (in order of importance)

Posted on May 13, 2006


  1. My boyfriend, M. In no way could I have imagined a boyfriend more perfect than him (particularly anatomically). He actually LISTENS to me – I don’t think any guy has ever really done that before. He takes an interest in the most mundane things and the most boring details. We hardly ever fight and he has adopted Egyptian culture wholeheartedly. He has made all the difference. I’m going to miss him enormously.
  2. Rights and freedoms. The rule of law. The certainty that the government is not to be feared.
  3. Freedom from sexual harassment in the streets, and the ability to go anywhere I wish without fearing either for my safety or neighbourhood scrutiny. Indeed, Personhood. I am a whole person here; in the Middle East I am chattel, for all to interfere with and disrespect.
  4. Related – the lack of relatives and other completely unrelated persons (like people on the Cairo metro) who think that owning a pair of youthful ovaries signifies a desire to be told how to live.
  5. Free, and more importantly, shame free health care. I shouldn’t need a wedding ring in order to check on the health of my nether regions.
  6. High speed internet. My heart is breaking, for real. I could get it of course, but my sister (who I will live with in Cairo) assures me that I won’t have time to spend on the internet like I do here. She is also too cheap to cough up the dough for it. I should point out now that she is my little sister. However, I have absolutely no authority to gainsay her, ever.
  7. People thinking I am exotic, hot etc. It’ll be like I changed bodies or something, leaving here. Edward Said did not inform me about this pleasant face of orientalism.
  8. The Toronto Public Library.
  9. Street hot dogs. With ketchup and onions.
  10. Tim Horton’s coffee. Oh, that sweet, sweet nectar that sustains me, no doubt laced with crack.
  11. Ability to use debit and credit cards anywhere.
  12. Cheap, and widely available, alcohol.
  13. The intense beauty that is Ontario during the spring, summer and fall.
  14. People who don’t smell offensive on public transportation.
  15. Going out for breakfast. I will search diligently for someplace in Egypt that will serve me my two eggs over medium with 4 sausages and home fries, and two pieces of brown toast with orange juice and coffee. Do not hold out much hope. And don’t tell me Coffee Roastery; their breakfasts blow chunks. Colder than the grave by the time they hit the table.
  16. Not having to turn on a water heater in advance when I want to take a shower.

That’s it for now. Maybe that IS it. Wouldn’t that be pretty sad?

Posted in: Canada