Posted on November 22, 2005


On Friday I took out my wisdom teeth, and my face has been deflating slowly ever since. It was so marvelous an operation, due to my freakishly misplaced teeth, that there were spectators, who examined me with unabashed curiosity. I have to say though…that deep sedation was a wonderful thing. It was literally like I blinked. I even cooked dinner afterwards (not for me though) although I now realize I was totally out of it. The painkillers worked fine too, except for yesterday when undoubtedly under the influence I decided it would be wise to cut myself bangs (collective female gasp heard around the globe). It’s OK – they didn’t turn out too bad. Or maybe I can’t tell yet since I’m still fuzzy. Watch for screechy blog tomorrow.
So last night I woke up with searing teeth pain, which continued till this morning. In a rage like an injured animal, I rushed to school where I told the dental receptionist that I had to see my dentist because it was an emergency. She told me to sit down and wait. Evidently she was not conversant with the accepted definition of “emergency”. Eventually I saw the dentist who gave me some percocets – I was really excited at entering this arena of white trashiness. I went and did some volunteer criminal work, just to put off the pleasure (and, well, to help those in need) and when I got home I popped one, and waited. I got dizzy and drunken and high, but the pain continued unabated. I made numerous calls to the dentist, whose staff had all become familiar with me, and he told me to take another. Nothing happened. So I took a tylenol. Enough painkillers to fell an elephant were coursing through me, and still the pain was excruciating. Almost in tears, I called the dentist again who suggested I come in, just to allay my fears that it wasn’t a totally new tooth that was starting up. The nice man even let me have another x-ray. That was before he said there was nothing more he could do and basically to suck it up. I was the first person he’d ever come across whose pain was not taken away by percocets. Since I’ve always known I was weird this didn’t surprise me in the least – I’ve always wanted to expand into the area of medical mysteries. I figured I might as well eat solid food since I was already in desperate pain, and so I had a very satisfying gyro dinner. I’m wafting garlic now.
Oh yeah. Just tylenol took my pain away. Why would my body react normally? Dangerous narcotics are, like, so obvious.
Posted in: aches and pains