The litigator

Posted on October 26, 2005


Today I had something called a minitrial. This is like a real trial, only you have less time to do everything in. Which suits us fine, because we suck.
Due to my incessant bad luck, I was alone against a team of two, which meant I had to do all the work. I compelled a friend of mine to be my witness. When we ran through his examination 15 minutes before the trial, he did not remember his name, where he worked, or even that he did not commit the crime – forget holding up under cross examination. I started to hyperventilate and my voice rose to a high squeak. I should have known that someone who has been in university, working on one degree, for eight years is not to be relied on to remember a couple of paragraphs.
well, I did my best, and actually I think my cross was pretty good and I made a masterful closing if I do say so myself. However, the judge had many criticisms to make. Snitty little nerd that I am, to each criticism I retorted that I did exactly what Gary Watson had told us to do. He is the senior instructor for the course and has won awards for best litigator in north America so I felt that I should listen to him, you know? Not some regular attorney. Anyway, it seems his views diverged strongly from the judge’s and they we got into such an unpleasant exchange that opposing counsel were starting to give me sympathetic looks. At the end he was like,
“Carolyn, any questions? Adrienne, questions? No? S – get out of here. You got lucky this time.”
The fuck? What does that even mean? Everyone knows I can never tell when people are joking or not…especially not Canadians. It’s not good, is it?