Posted on October 22, 2005


Canada is a very beautiful place in the fall. cliched as it may be, the trees always make me smile. I’ve become a big softie in my old age – I had to physically restrain myself from putting in more sappy commentary.
Well, not always. When it rains, the trees can kiss my ass.
Here’s what I don’t get though. The Canada geese. It’s nice that Canada has something it can calls its own besides toothless men with no cartilage left and porcine products. But I don’t see how it is acceptable to have wild fowl that are higher than my knees prowling in flocks and pecking at passersby. One wing flap could decapitate a person.
and the poop. In a country where grown, free adults walk around solicitously picking up after their pets, ecologically significant amounts of goose crap is left smeared across the sidewalk, to blend in or something. The whole month of September I’m looking down to keep from getting poop on my feet. At least October is usually poop free.
If a flock of geese had flown into Cairo, it would have been manna from the heavens, literally. In two minutes the populace would have descended and men would be striding joyfully away with a goose wedged firmly under either arm. There would be jubilation in Egyptian households and guests would be invited. Here, they just let the delicious food walk around unmolested. Nay, walk around unmolested, shitting on their sandals.
The pigeons, too. I know everyone keeps telling me that they’re disease carriers and flying rats, but I can’t help but run a covetous eye over them, especially the uppity ones that don’t move from my path. They’re so plump and juicy. I feel sure that judicious plucking and cleaning would take care of the diseases, right? And those bunnies too. La7ma.

Posted in: Canada, Egypt, humour