I heard it with my own two ears

Posted on September 14, 2005

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I was on a public bus today and got up to let an old woman with short white hair and a cane sit down. I was actually made to get up and seat her by this Filipino woman who sat down next to her. After a while the old woman said to the Filipina, who was a total stranger: “My bra has come undone. Would you reach up my shirt and do it up for me?” I SWEAR TO GOD. And the woman was like, yup, and just reached up there with great nonchalance and snapped it shut as dozens of spectators looked on.

Guess who I ran into today? African Unity Guy. I don’t even live in his building anymore…I was just passing by it. He asked me to come by his place so we could talk and “reason”. When I said I was reason free these days, he suggested that we could just look at each other. Please. He was all eyelash flippy saying how he could never forget me etc, but of course he has no idea what my name is. I made some lame excuse about having to get to class, just as he yelled out his apartment number after me. People need to come to an effective determination of how hot they are, or not, and relate to others accordingly. Plus I have this new rule where I won’t even speak to guys who do not outweigh me by at least 20 lbs, and I’m pretty sure I could have snapped this one like a twig.

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Posted in: humour