J’s legs bid a final farewell

Posted on March 15, 2005

4


My roommate is converting to Judaism. I know, I know. Grounds for a sitcom right here. But it’s just too much effort to be intolerant, you know?
Anyway so she’s getting all her pants converted into skirts. That hardcore. The method by which she proposes to do this is by inserting a large triangle of fabric between the legs. She also wants these to be in different colours than the pants. Say, denim with an orange triangle. So she’s laying out pants and saying things like “How about shiny grey material?” “How about shiny red fabric?” I’m like, “And you think having a giant shiny triangle pointing towards your crotch is more modest that covering your entire lower half in pants?”
And why the shiny? It’s like she’s a magpie – gravitating towards flashy things. You can’t make an excursion into Orthodox Jewry an occasion for bad fashion adventures! No. I’m pretty sure God wouldn’t like that. But then I wouldn’t know. I think turning light switches on and off on Saturdays is inoffensive.
OK, maybe not as tolerant as I thought. I’ll work on it.

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