Formal is as formal does

Posted on March 14, 2005


Saturday night was the Dean’s formal, the law school graduation ball. It says much about the evening that I am only now getting around to blogging about it – Sunday was spent in a series of moans and pained drinks of water. Basically, I pushed my molecules to their limit: I imbibed such a quantity of alcohol that I am surprised I didn’t just explode in a shower of bland chicken and unidentified dessert bits. As it was, I fell asleep (read: passed out on the brink of alcohol poisoning) on several occasions in several locales. In the end I had to be hauled out of the toilet at an after-hours club by a friend and deposited in the vehicle of a a guy who was nice enough to take me home, out of his way, while making no attempt to get up my skirt. At least not to my knowledge.
There was also an incident where I requested a special birthday song with a dedication (R. Kelly’s “Ignition”) and when it came on I rushed around the dance floor gripping the hands of startled acquaintances and telling them I was 22. I really hope I did that in English, my English often goes when I am drunk, astonishingly.
God. Believe me, no morsel of alcohol shall ever pass my lips again. Either entering or exiting.
One consolation is I have never thrown up outside a toilet except for that one time in some ill-remembered bar in Mohandessin where I threw up in the kitchen, I think, eliciting several evil looks from the busboy. OK, so I’ve never thrown up in a non-toilet within this jurisdiction. And I’d like it to stay that way!
Posted in: intoxicants