The J files

Posted on March 8, 2005


I forgot to mention the most interesting about Saturday night…I actually heard a performer called Madagascar Slim. I have no recollection just what this man played; upon hearing his name I burst into bubbles of hilarity stimulated by one too many vodka-orange-cranberries. Like Tennessee Williams, this poor man was clearly forced into “art” (and I use the term loosely) through an accident of unfortunate geography based nomenclature.

Today I was sitting on the toilet peacefully about to pee when my roomate J rushed in, flinging the bathroom door aside and gasping “I-have-to-use-the washroom!” I should explain right now that J and I have an open door peeing policy. We think it encourages positive body image, rather than an undue familiarity with bodily functions. I cooperatively pulled up my pants and stepped out, but whined plaintively outside the door.
Actually a rather more graphic exchange occurred today with regards to the bathroom. J said to me “Can I brush my teeth while you poo?” When I demurred, I was forced to wait outside hopping about while she not only brushed her teeth but removed makeup and flossed. I made several tasteless remarks about passing gas when it occurred to me that our relationship had become far too familiar and bathroom-humour-focused and that in fact we were in danger of growing testicles. This is why I have not reproduced the text of my tasteless comments here; I want to maintain some semblance of ladyhood.

Posted in: human waste, roommate